Dollmaking and Healing and more....

Chakra Healing Doll

Dear Healing Doll Way Dollmakers,
​
I've been looking forward to gathering with you this summer, but over the past few weeks I've been listening to something quieter than my plans.

I've been on an unexpected healing journey that began with a diagnosis of an eating disorder. In November, when I weighed 119 pounds, I began recovery with the support of the wonderful staff at Melrose Center in St. Louis Park, my therapist, Kate, at Sageant Health, and the amazing nurse practitioners at Herself Health. Their care, encouragement, and wisdom have helped me regain a healthy weight and begin a new relationship with my body.

As I regained my health, I was eager to continue facilitating and guiding women through The Healing Doll Way. Then another unexpected chapter arrived. Last summer I was diagnosed with a 7-centimeter cyst on my left ovary. My doctor recommended an annual ultrasound, and when I had that follow-up this June, we discovered the cyst had grown and needed to be removed. I had surgery on June 26.

While I knew I needed to recover physically after surgery, I quickly discovered that my body was in no hurry to heal. It needed me to rest and "take it easy"—two concepts that have always been foreign to me. I'm discovering that true healing asks for something more than rest and recovery. It asks for my presence.

One of the deepest lessons our dolls have always taught us is that we cannot accompany another person into vulnerable territory unless we are willing to accompany ourselves there first. (check out The Ten Questions in Healing Doll Way book)  For more than thirty years, I've invited women to slow down, listen deeply, trust the wisdom of images, and allow the dolls to reveal what cannot yet be spoken. Now I find myself sitting in that very same circle as a student.

This isn't a detour from my work. It is my work.

In the middle of my recovery, the name Dangerous Old Dollmaker quietly arrived. It felt like the next stage of my work. I've been asking myself, What makes an old dollmaker dangerous?
I don't think she's dangerous because she has all the answers.

She's dangerous because she's willing to stop pretending she does.

She notices the invitations hidden inside uncertainty.

She stays with herself when the old ways no longer fit.

She trusts that healing has its own intelligence and its own timing.

Right now, that is exactly what I am practicing.

The dolls are asking me to honor the pace of my soul rather than the pressure of the calendar. So I've decided to step away from teaching for the remainder of July, and possibly through August as well. Not because I don't care about this community. Because I care about it deeply. The women who gather here don't simply need information or techniques. They deserve someone who is grounded enough to sit beside them as they discover their own stories. That kind of presence cannot be hurried. It grows from tending my own inner life with the same compassion I hope to offer each of you.

These days I'm resting. I'm making peace with uncertainty. I'm listening to my body. I'm paying attention to dreams, symbols, stories, and the quiet language of the dolls themselves. Once again, they have become my teachers. I trust this season is quietly shaping what comes next—not only for me, but for all of us.

Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for walking this path beside me over the years. When we gather again, I hope to return with a quieter heart, deeper questions, and an even greater appreciation for the wisdom that emerges when we give ourselves permission to heal, to ripen, and to create from what is most true.
Until then...Be gentle with yourselves. Listen for the quieter voice. Tend your own inner Dollmaker. She knows more than she sometimes lets on.

With love,Barb

P.S. During this season of healing, I will be creating a private Dangerous Old Dollmaker membership group and a Facebook group. I know Facebook isn't everyone's favorite place (it isn't mine either!), but for now it's the simplest way for us to stay connected. Let me know if you are interested at [email protected]

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Our Lady of Ashes Holding Her Pain Story