Why Make a Scapegoat (Shadow) Doll
Recently I wrote in my journal.
Making a Scapegoat doll is an opportunity to participate in your own healing; a way of addressing your woundedness. When you are making your Scapegoat dolls you are having a first hand experience with healing your pain. In the process you examine your own wounds, look at your weaknesses and recognize and develop your strengths. When you face and integrate the messages of your disease you allow a healing dimension to emerge - that of the Inner Healer.
Making these Shadow dolls is a creative act of healing. It has the potential to increase your awareness of the patterns and energies in you life. Healing doll are symbolic aids that connect to the maker and her creative, intuitive, healing imagination.
A Scapegoat doll story
It was pretty obvious that I'm my worst enemy in that regard. Anyway, when I stripped everything away two things surfaced.
1) I've always had an underlying fear of being vulnerable, exposed, judged; people might find the "real me "unacceptable, stupid, awkward, etc.
2) This came as a startling insight while journaling. I was journaling and giving voice to my negative self talk saying things like; "I'm not smart enough, good enough, creative enough, articulate enough, and perfect enough." I suddenly focused on the word "enough". I looked up enough ="sufficient for the purpose, adequate to satisfy a need or calling". Not better than others, not perfect, but sufficient and adequate!
I then tried to define my purpose/calling. I decided bottom line; the purpose of my life is to experience living this life as an opportunity to learn, grow, love. I suddenly realized that I don't need to be anything more than my imperfect human self to be sufficient and adequate to meet that purpose and calling. So as long as I can stay open and share the lessons I learn from my fumbling, stumbling journey than I am enough. No other judgment is necessary.
As a sidelight to that, I had a deep realization of the insanity of comparing myself to anyone else. Every person has different genes, parents, families, personalities, opportunities, gifts, weaknesses, environments, etc. How can it make any sense at all to compare two people who are so completely different in every way? So the question should be; "Am I sufficient and adequate to learn from this life and share what I learn with others?" NOT, "Do I compare favorably to others?"
With all this in mind my doll turned out very simple. A soft, naked (vulnerable) girl tying herself in knots trying to avoid being exposed for whom she really is (imperfect, human), blindfolded (blind) to the fact that she is all she needs to be, which ironically is imperfect and human.
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The Healing Doll Way